As a nearly 65 year old grandmother living with one of my daughters and my two granddaughters, I never would have foreseen the situation I now find myself. We welcomed a new grandson who has teenage sisters and I'm raising my great-nephew, who is 15 months. I can't imagine life any other way but with these precious girls and baby boys, living life together as a family. Praise God.
Yes! Your post brought tears to my eyes! Such truth! I don’t have many around me who agree with your words and it can be a lonely walk. But as I rock my 7th baby I can say with certainty that there are no regrets for bringing her into the world. I struggled with such fear during my pregnancy with her…. Such fear… but the Joy she has brought will never be forgotten. And I no longer have to wrestle with the question should we have more. Because I have seen the world’s lies clearly. And have also seen clearly the blessing that children are. What God says is a blessing will be where I place my trust….
I will NEVER til the day I die, understand how you could look at your children and say ‘ugh, no more.’ It’s actually demented to see children as a burden and not the blessing that they actually ARE. Satan has convinced much of the world to go along with this perversity. As a Mom who lost 6 of 10 desperately wanted children It’s hard to stomach this mindset towards children. Thanks for sharing this important message.
I think it’s so often fear driven. Fear of missing out on something else, fear of looking different, fear of forsaking comfort or self. When we make fear-driven choices, we think we’re being safe but in the end we’re usually just saying no to the bigger adventures God has called us to!
I am not sure it is demented. That's strong language that offers no sympathy for women caught in terribly difficult circumstances, raising one baby after another with no human help. Wives who are far away from extended family and grandparents...either on mission fields or just across a nation or ocean...they struggle physically. And because of the physical struggle, there is mental stress. I never ever ever had a grandparent help me except the week of a baby's birth...and my reality was that out of 2 of my 6 children's births, the grandmother who came to help either fell ill or was caught in other family drama that made her no help whatever. I bore the load of all the children 100% of the time with no breaks, ever. I have a sister who bore a similar load, with limited water in the household, and cleanliness was a constant challenge. We both embraced a big family faith, but that faith, that belief became strained and stressed due to the physical limits we faced. A new pregnancy was feared and the fear produced guilt because we *should* have wanted more children. It's not fair to characterize that fear as "demented." That fear was not without basis; but on a moment-to-moment basis, we learned to prove God true. We can be thankful for medical care to keep us alive: I survived an ectopic pregnancy and 3 miscarriages, and hemorrhaging after my 5th baby. Pregnancies took their toll on my body. Even those of us who believe that children are treasures groaned under their burden for a time. Let's be honest: babies are burdens. But they are blessed burdens and in time when we are the ones who are a burden, they'll be the ones carrying us. We have to teach younger women that sometimes our duty must be done for the joy that is "set BEFORE us" and not for what there is right now.
Killing your own children is definitely demented. All the word salad and excuses in the world doesn’t change that. Only demons who are the anti-human, enemies of mankind would encourage the notion of pro-creation as recreation and then concocting clever ways of annihilating the pre-born child.
I believe Iva was referencing this line: “It’s actually demented to see children as a burden and not the blessing that they actually ARE.” She did not anywhere in her comment indicate that abortion is not demented.
So happy to read this as I am pregnant with number 4 at 41 and after a five year break! Certainly feeling nervous about all of the sacrifices to be made in the coming months/years
but also so excited to have this gift for my family of another child to love.
Thank you for sharing this. My husband is the youngest of nine, and he was born just 4 days before his mom turned 45! She passed away one year ago, but the relationship they had was so precious and sweet. 💞
“All this— to meet another human who just might be the one holding your hand when you take your last breath.” This line made me tear up- so, so tender and beautiful and true. Thank you for this powerful reflection 💕
Thank you so much for sharing this ♥️ I need to hear this today! My husband and I been praying for our next bub. Sometimes I wrestling with fear thinking about our next child and after my surgery of fibroid removal last year but I believe God doesn’t give us spirit of fear but power and love and a sound mind. I love the bible verses you shared in here too!
“Should I have another baby?” is never asked in the Bible. That’s because children are seen as something so clearly desirable that no one in their right mind would think to ask. “Should I cash this million dollar check I received?” “Should I stay healthy?” They’re not serious inquiries. We know what any sane person would say, and it’s yes”
— I love “The Chosen,” but I cringed in the episode when Peter & Eden talked about “starting to plan our family.” …..What!?!?! Utter modern nonsense! Who in their right mind signed off on that dialogue!?
My husband doesn’t want more kids, but I do… I have made the analogy several times, asking him, “If God wanted to give you ten million dollars, would you really say, “No thanks, I’m good with three?”” Not that he’s trying to prevent it but he doesn’t want it. He says he might be ok with 1 more but that’s it.
I’m also struggling because I never wanted kids, but the more I had, the more I loved motherhood. After my 3rd was born, I was ready for another one RIGHT AWAY, which sounds crazy… but now we keep not getting another baby. It’s heartbreaking every single month to me.
So many are in your shoes. Can I gently suggest asking your husband if he will pray with you for unity? NOT for his heart to be softened, not for God to nudge him for more… for unity. I have seen this prayer absolutely change marriages. Some end up with more babies. Some don’t. But all see each other in a new light thanks to the goodness and love of Jesus.
Ultimately it’s up to him. My desires aren’t going to changes simply because he doesn’t share them, but the decision and prevention is up to him. I personally don’t think this particular issue is about submission.
Oh, I have been there. After my third, I pushed my husband to have a vasectomy due to the fact that two of our three had been pre-term. That was in 2002. After a reversal, progesterone shots were available that allowed our subsequent births to all be full-term. God’s timing!
We are called to sacrifice what is most important to us for His will. Seems an easy decision for me in this perspective when I reckon my time and sanity are the things I’m coveting over His will.
As a nearly 65 year old grandmother living with one of my daughters and my two granddaughters, I never would have foreseen the situation I now find myself. We welcomed a new grandson who has teenage sisters and I'm raising my great-nephew, who is 15 months. I can't imagine life any other way but with these precious girls and baby boys, living life together as a family. Praise God.
God’s ways are so rarely ours. What a blessing you are walking out!
Yes! Your post brought tears to my eyes! Such truth! I don’t have many around me who agree with your words and it can be a lonely walk. But as I rock my 7th baby I can say with certainty that there are no regrets for bringing her into the world. I struggled with such fear during my pregnancy with her…. Such fear… but the Joy she has brought will never be forgotten. And I no longer have to wrestle with the question should we have more. Because I have seen the world’s lies clearly. And have also seen clearly the blessing that children are. What God says is a blessing will be where I place my trust….
Thank you for your words. They touched my heart
I will NEVER til the day I die, understand how you could look at your children and say ‘ugh, no more.’ It’s actually demented to see children as a burden and not the blessing that they actually ARE. Satan has convinced much of the world to go along with this perversity. As a Mom who lost 6 of 10 desperately wanted children It’s hard to stomach this mindset towards children. Thanks for sharing this important message.
I think it’s so often fear driven. Fear of missing out on something else, fear of looking different, fear of forsaking comfort or self. When we make fear-driven choices, we think we’re being safe but in the end we’re usually just saying no to the bigger adventures God has called us to!
So true and terribly sad.
I am not sure it is demented. That's strong language that offers no sympathy for women caught in terribly difficult circumstances, raising one baby after another with no human help. Wives who are far away from extended family and grandparents...either on mission fields or just across a nation or ocean...they struggle physically. And because of the physical struggle, there is mental stress. I never ever ever had a grandparent help me except the week of a baby's birth...and my reality was that out of 2 of my 6 children's births, the grandmother who came to help either fell ill or was caught in other family drama that made her no help whatever. I bore the load of all the children 100% of the time with no breaks, ever. I have a sister who bore a similar load, with limited water in the household, and cleanliness was a constant challenge. We both embraced a big family faith, but that faith, that belief became strained and stressed due to the physical limits we faced. A new pregnancy was feared and the fear produced guilt because we *should* have wanted more children. It's not fair to characterize that fear as "demented." That fear was not without basis; but on a moment-to-moment basis, we learned to prove God true. We can be thankful for medical care to keep us alive: I survived an ectopic pregnancy and 3 miscarriages, and hemorrhaging after my 5th baby. Pregnancies took their toll on my body. Even those of us who believe that children are treasures groaned under their burden for a time. Let's be honest: babies are burdens. But they are blessed burdens and in time when we are the ones who are a burden, they'll be the ones carrying us. We have to teach younger women that sometimes our duty must be done for the joy that is "set BEFORE us" and not for what there is right now.
Killing your own children is definitely demented. All the word salad and excuses in the world doesn’t change that. Only demons who are the anti-human, enemies of mankind would encourage the notion of pro-creation as recreation and then concocting clever ways of annihilating the pre-born child.
I believe Iva was referencing this line: “It’s actually demented to see children as a burden and not the blessing that they actually ARE.” She did not anywhere in her comment indicate that abortion is not demented.
Thanks for clarifying that
Because we have to financially take care of them, Elizabeth! One of the reasons women abort is because of poverty.
Ya. I have a neighbour who’s broke. She’s going to off her toddler tonight 👍
So happy to read this as I am pregnant with number 4 at 41 and after a five year break! Certainly feeling nervous about all of the sacrifices to be made in the coming months/years
but also so excited to have this gift for my family of another child to love.
Thank you for sharing this. My husband is the youngest of nine, and he was born just 4 days before his mom turned 45! She passed away one year ago, but the relationship they had was so precious and sweet. 💞
“All this— to meet another human who just might be the one holding your hand when you take your last breath.” This line made me tear up- so, so tender and beautiful and true. Thank you for this powerful reflection 💕
Thank you so much for sharing this ♥️ I need to hear this today! My husband and I been praying for our next bub. Sometimes I wrestling with fear thinking about our next child and after my surgery of fibroid removal last year but I believe God doesn’t give us spirit of fear but power and love and a sound mind. I love the bible verses you shared in here too!
“Should I have another baby?” is never asked in the Bible. That’s because children are seen as something so clearly desirable that no one in their right mind would think to ask. “Should I cash this million dollar check I received?” “Should I stay healthy?” They’re not serious inquiries. We know what any sane person would say, and it’s yes”
— I love “The Chosen,” but I cringed in the episode when Peter & Eden talked about “starting to plan our family.” …..What!?!?! Utter modern nonsense! Who in their right mind signed off on that dialogue!?
It’s so deeply ingrained in THIS society that we can’t even imagine those who would never think to ask!
My husband doesn’t want more kids, but I do… I have made the analogy several times, asking him, “If God wanted to give you ten million dollars, would you really say, “No thanks, I’m good with three?”” Not that he’s trying to prevent it but he doesn’t want it. He says he might be ok with 1 more but that’s it.
I’m also struggling because I never wanted kids, but the more I had, the more I loved motherhood. After my 3rd was born, I was ready for another one RIGHT AWAY, which sounds crazy… but now we keep not getting another baby. It’s heartbreaking every single month to me.
So many are in your shoes. Can I gently suggest asking your husband if he will pray with you for unity? NOT for his heart to be softened, not for God to nudge him for more… for unity. I have seen this prayer absolutely change marriages. Some end up with more babies. Some don’t. But all see each other in a new light thanks to the goodness and love of Jesus.
That’s great advice! I will pray for unity… my husband isn’t a believer, unfortunately.
Submit to your husband.
Ultimately it’s up to him. My desires aren’t going to changes simply because he doesn’t share them, but the decision and prevention is up to him. I personally don’t think this particular issue is about submission.
I needed to read this. It brought tears to my eyes. Nodding to all of this even if my heart feels a bit afraid of pregnancy right now.
Oh, I have been there. After my third, I pushed my husband to have a vasectomy due to the fact that two of our three had been pre-term. That was in 2002. After a reversal, progesterone shots were available that allowed our subsequent births to all be full-term. God’s timing!
Is it too forward to send this to my husband who doesn’t want any more kids? 😉 I kid I kid.
LOL! Probably.
Yes
Recently my grandmother of 4 children told me if she could go back she would have had more children.
Nah. 2 kids and I'm done. Maybe even 1
We are called to sacrifice what is most important to us for His will. Seems an easy decision for me in this perspective when I reckon my time and sanity are the things I’m coveting over His will.