To The Mom Who Thought She Was Done

I've been there more than once, and regret nothing.

The two lines weren't supposed to be there. You took the test on a whim. If anything, you thought, Murphy's Law would come into play and you'd start your period as you were waiting for the seconds to tick by on the timer.

But it wasn't negative. And here you are—suddenly dealing with the fact that even though you were done, well... God wasn't.

I can't be there to hold your hand through the next few months. I can't answer the questions you're asking God. I can't smack every silly loon who jokes that you should have known better than to get rid of the crib. I can't make you believe, as you are staring down another set of diapers, another round of braces, that this is going to be easy

But I can remind you of this:

It's not about you.

This new life, this new person... he or she was created with purpose. And that purpose wasn't just throwing off the next 18 years of your life.

This baby will not be a baby for long. The season will be painfully short even for a mother caught off guard by the news that another is on the way. Life is about to change forever, yes. But it's not just teething and temper tantrums. The relationships in your family are about to shift, to make room for a personality, an eternal soul that will echo on.

Your older children are about to meet the sibling who will stand by their side into old age. You are about to meet the mother or father of your grandchildren. You are about to hold in your arms someone's future wife, a winsome preacher of the Gospel, an artist who brings joy and beauty into the world, the guy who stops to open doors for older ladies.

It's not about you.

I’ve been here more than once. What a thing to be able to say! When I turned 40, I was sure that my years of babies were behind me. Statistics assured me this would be so. But I had two babies in those years— one before I turned 41, the other at 46. I was stunned into silence with each realization that a new life was already being knit together. I had made plans, after all. Plans that didn’t include a newborn. Here’s what I learned as I opened my hands and released my own idea of what the future held:

The life within you—though a shock to you—isn't a surprise to God.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.—Psalm 139:16

This is a continuation of a story. His story, not really yours. And when you're done grappling with what this news means for you, when you can find the blessing in being chosen to have another person entrusted to your nurture, when the dust has settled, you will find God ready to carry you through the unexpected... and into the next chapter.

Those shocking, unexpected blessings are 10 and 4 now. Life without them is unthinkable. Those intervening years, not shaped by their presence? How could I have thought they would be good? God knew what I needed, what the world needed. And He used my husband and I to put that plan in motion. How humbling, indeed.

If you’re currently unsure what the next months look like, I encourage you with this: think bigger. Think God-sized. Look beyond the circumstances you tried to breathe into being with your own efforts and embrace the story God is writing. This person has a part to play in the Kingdom of God. Allow your part to include his or hers. You won’t be disappointed in the edits.

In Christ,

Heather