Under the Influence

Don't be fooled by the highlight reels. Your life is beautiful.

At least once a week, I receive a desperate message from a fellow mother that reads something like this: “There’s something wrong with me! I can’t take care of my children, cook three meals a day, run a home-based business, homeschool, keep my house clean, and have anything left over for my husband!” A little digging always gets to the root— these sweet friends think they ought to be able to do all these things because someone in the influencer world that they follow posts beautiful images of doing all the things. They constantly share how they’re not special, just an average mom who decided to “go for it!”

The question then, to quote the Cowardly Lion, becomes this: “What have they got that I ain’t got?” The depressed wife thinks the answer is energy, determination, organization, something else that she should just be able to summon within herself to prove that she, too, is an excellent woman.

But in reality, the answer is quite often very different. What have they got that the average homeschooling mom doesn’t have? Maybe a cleaning lady. A husband with an income in the high six-figures would help for sure. A tutor, possibly. Or (most likely of all) some excellent marketing skills that downplay the mundane and sell an image devoid of all the messy details required in the day to day.

This kind of thing has always existed. I remember watching Martha Stewart Living in the 90s and thinking how truly amazing it would be to have multiple themed gardens from which to make my own fresh bouquets each week, or a huge collection of dishes to choose from when setting a holiday table. The thing was though, I knew it was curated viewing. There was an illusion of hominess, for sure. But I never thought I was getting an intimate view of Martha’s real life.

Today, we are invited into the homes and lives of people whose paths we might otherwise never cross. It’s truly a beautiful thing, wielded rightly. It can be used in so many ways that glorify the Lord. But when the goal is the elevation of a brand— and yes, quite a few accounts are a brand, not a person— the lines become blurred for many observers.

For we don’t dare classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. But in measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves to themselves, they lack understanding. We, however, will not boast beyond measure but according to the measure of the area of ministry that God has assigned to us, which reaches even to you. —2 Corinthians 10:12-13

To compare our lives to those of others is always a dangerous game. The Lord has assigned each of us a place in His Kingdom, and our duty lies in fulfilling that role— not in emulating the lives of others. In doing so, it’s very likely we would miss the work we have been given to attend. That wild toddler, that discouraged husband, that imperfect church… all of it is under the will of God. And all of it is a mission field, should we choose to accept it. It will be messy and quite likely not made pretty even by the fanciest of IG filters. But it is our calling. Ours.

to seek to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, so that you may behave properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone —1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Then, too, is the fact that not many of us have been created to live a life under the microscope of social pressure. While it may seem that these women and their busy, active, tidy lives possess an enviable ministry, you, too have just such a reach. Your presence with your own children isn’t impeded by constantly styling an image, by fielding sponsors, or any such outside details. Your bread is as filling to the bellies of your family as it would be were it filmed and presented to the masses; perhaps more so, because they know it was done for love alone, and not for any monetary gain.

Your worth is not dependent on clicks and shares. Your life is not measured by whether you can juggle pulling in an income while teaching your kids to read. The Lord has given you something else, and it, too, is good. Look for its abundance today, and choose to be content in Him.

In Christ,

Heather

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