It's Messy

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First published January 27, 2014. Birdie was 3. This is a Paid Subscriber Only Flashback.

Birdie already knows that all good fairy tales-- the ones where the rules are broken and reality is suspended and that pony can finally, finally tell you what's on her mind-- all really good fairy tales start with "Once upon a time." Those are the stories she really wants to hear these days. The ones where things are exactly how she wishes they were. A rainbow over every hill. Rivers sprinkled with glitter. Unlimited white bunnies that let you pat their ears without running away. Pink everything.

But even at three, Birdie already knows that whatever follows "once upon a time," isn't likely to be true. It's too fantastical. It's fabulous, yes. It's fun. But it's not the way things really are. In the real world, rainbows only appear after a spring shower. Rivers are fast and wild and range from a deep, cold grey to a vivid blue flecked with foam. Bunnies are more apt to hide when they hear the excited footsteps of a preschooler. And pink is sometimes not an option on the table (although, by rights, it always should be).

Birdie gets that real life is real life. Puppies don't talk. Elephants don't fly. Little girls aren't princesses just because they like tiaras.

My preschooler has already grasped that wishing and wanting something doesn't make it so.

And yet ...

Some days, I keep waiting for once upon a time. Only in my fairy tale ...