Hard Has a Purpose

Children raised in Christian homes need the chance to wrestle with their faith. Prove me wrong.

And the people served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great work that the Lord had done for Israel. And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died at the age of 110 years. And they buried him within the boundaries of his inheritance in Timnath-heres, in the hill country of Ephraim, north of the mountain of Gaash. And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers. And there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel.

And the people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals. And they abandoned the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. And they provoked the Lord to anger. They abandoned the Lord and served the Baals and the Ashtaroth.

— Judges 2:7-13

When you read this passage, where does your focus go? Is it to the vacuum of faith left by the first generation of those who left Egypt? It’s a grim visual, and the eyes of a mother are obviously drawn to the consequences of the absence of a strong example of faith being lived out day to day. Our minds rush to fill the void though, with a formula:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. —Deuteronomy 6:4-9

It’s so obviously simple. If that first generation had only heeded the wisdom inherent in the Shema, they would have left behind a legacy that would have endured, right? With this as our goal, we fill our children’s ears with truth from the moment they are placed in our arms. We pray over them. We sing hymns. We point to God’s fingerprints. We lead them through Scripture.

And still, some will fall away. And we wring our hands, and cry tears of frustration, and wonder how they’ve turned their backs on all the things we’ve so carefully taught.

There is no more committed follower of Christ than the one who has tasted the depths of despair experienced by one who can’t escape the truth of his or her own depravity. And our kids, raised in their adorable AWANA vests, singing Scripture set to bubbly pop music, and attending youth groups with names like GLOW FOR GOD, have not experienced that despair.

They’ve experienced the discomfort of a really long bus ride (without air conditioning!) to Mexico to paint murals in orphanages. They’ve probably lied, maybe kissed a girl they shouldn’t have, possibly even use the “f-word” when adults aren’t around.

But for the majority of kids raised in good, godly homes, all of this is distinctly separate from the story their parents tell of praying over them when they were two years old and had a 104 fever that wouldn’t break. It’s not relevant to being told about the time when Dad lost his job and, miraculously, a basket of food with a check tucked inside showed up on the doorstep. It’s not even related to the fact that a group of church folks gather at the house every week to pray and sing.

How is this even possible?

It’s possible because they’ve heard, maybe they’ve even seen… but their hearts were never touched. They may have mouthed the prayer and taken the plunge at the river baptism, but they were just along for the ride, doing the thing everyone did because, well… everyone did it.

And this is why I say, in love, let them struggle.

Let them stumble just enough to need— truly need— to grab hold of the hem of Jesus’ garment.

Let them be disappointed in their fellow Christians enough to separate Jesus’ faithfulness from His followers fallibility .

Let them see how truly wicked man is when left to his own devices.

Let them sit alongside those whose pasts reek of sin, and hear the before and after from their own lips.

Let them struggle with why bad things happen to good people.

Let them serve the least of these, and weep for them as Jesus does.

It is hard but oh, it has a purpose. We can walk along the way and speak of the Lord, and this is good. It gives our kids the head knowledge they need to count the cost of being a true follower of Christ. But those with only head knowledge so easily give in to the second generation temptation of going astray. It’s those whose hearts have been shaped by seeing the hand of God who escape the pitfall of leaving their faith behind when they leave home.

Give your children the gift of hard in your home, with the safety net of your own firm faith guiding them. They will be stronger Christians for it… and God will be glorified!

In Christ,

Heather

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