For WHOSE Good, Exactly?

Romans 8:28 and the painful truth that our will needs to be HIS will

Phin, age 20 months

Suffer loss, struggle for a season, deal with hard things and as a Christian, you are bound to have at least one person share Romans 8:28 with you:

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

I love that verse. I also hate it. Why? Context.

Here’s the verse immediately following the one quoted above:

For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters —Romans 8:29

This verse has those sticky words, “foreknew,” and “predestined” in it. We read it, and we stop or we stumble, because we’re blinded by an argument hundreds of years in the making. But there’s something else there, something that has a bearing outside the discussion of Calvinism:

“Conformed to the image of His son.”

In other words, being in alignment with the will of God. Able to say, like Christ— “let this cup pass from me, but if not…”

So, whose good? Ours, surely, if we fall into the category of “those who love him.” But actually— God’s. As His children, we are being refined daily to bring our wills ever closer to the will of the Lord, and therefore our wants and needs will begin to reflect His, not our own. Stated like this, the pinch of our circumstances, which brought the verse to the lips of our well meaning friends and family in the first place, is less a comfort and more of an invitation:

“You’re hurting now because what God has allowed in your life. But what He has allowed is purposeful, for His glory and also to bring your will into a closer alignment with His purposes for you.”

I told you, I love it, and I also hate it. Because if I’m totally honest, there are times when I want what I want when I want it. The flesh doesn’t relent easily, not when it comes to seeking the easier, more comfortable path. And I don’t know about you, but my more comfortable path almost never has room for car trouble or sick kids or struggling to pay the bills because we’re in full-time ministry and the pay this side of heaven isn’t what you’d hope it would be. And yet, I know that coming to a place where my desires are His desires is where I will find that “good” I long for.

In August of 2005, my husband had a vasectomy reversal. We had pursued the vasectomy before he was saved. I had given birth to three babies in four years. Overwhelmed, counseled by medical professionals, standing in the face of already pushing the limits of “normal,” we dutifully took the surgical route to sterilization in 2002, when our second son was just six weeks old. The reversal had been two years and many prayers in the works. Our pastor came to pray with us in the hospital that morning. My best friend, who was watching our kids, was also in charge of a phone tree for updates. The procedure was declared a success when, three months later, I got a positive pregnancy test. I can’t tell you how great the rejoicing of our circle was that day! We had asked God for a good thing, a thing His Word calls a blessing, and He had answered! But, friends, I would not give birth again until 2010. The five intervening years were full of loss and, eventually, a long, dry spell of unexplained secondary infertility.

I mourned. I weeped. I kicked back at God. So many believers came alongside me, at church, in the grocery store. They drew me into a hug, or patted my hand, and offered words of comfort:

“You know, He works all things for the good of those who love Him. Hang in there!”

Those words made me angry at the time, because I couldn’t see any good for me in the constant cycle of hope, disappointment, and grief that had become my life. But if I had only looked a verse further, I might have caught a small glimpse of what God was doing in my life. See, Jesus’s Name was, ultimately, glorified in the season in which I languished. Stretched paper thin, I was drawn ultimately to the deepest place of prayer, repentance, and humility before our sovereign God I have ever experienced:

Then Job answered the Lord and said,

“I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”
^’Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.’
“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes.”—Job 42:1-6

My eyes were opened to the truth of Romans 8:29. My will had to be that of the Father, so that I could begin to reflect the Son. I had to accept that my suffering had a purpose— a glorious purpose— and was being written by a loving God who grieved alongside me, but also knew that this, too, would be used to preach His Gospel. When I came to understand that conforming my will was the lesson, I was able to stand up under the weight of the pain that the past years had heaped on my shoulders. It didn’t stop hurting. But suddenly, it hurt with a purpose I could wrap my heart around. That’s when the healing— and the good— began.

You might be reading this today from the perspective of someone who is currently in the miry clay. You might be stuck in a cycle of asking God for something and watching as your prayer seems to be ignored even as those around you are given the very thing your heart desires most. You might be waiting for your chance at the good Romans 8:28 promises, and losing hope that God really does see you. I’m here to tell you that He does. He sees you, and He has purpose for you in His Kingdom. Part of His plan for you is to be able to preach the Gospel through your life— all of it. The joyful, yes. But also the hard. The painful. The moments where you nearly lost faith… but didn’t. He is giving you a testimony for His glory that will be powerful not just for the ways He has answered, but for the steadfastness you have shown in abiding in Him in the waiting room.

He is urging you to be conformed to the image of His Son, accepting that the will of the Father accomplishes His purposes at all times.

In Christ,

Heather