Be Thou My Vision

Because mine, frankly, is fallible.

Our co-op is cancelled today. Cancelled for the second time, on week 8. Cancelled because a combination of sickness and pre-planned absences has gutted our (small) student body and our (even smaller) staff.

This is not how I saw things happening.

We are neither too big to simply pivot in the face of such things, nor too small for it to matter. We are right in the middle, right at that somewhat precarious tippping point where we can’t fit in a single host home, nor can we fill up a whole field trip docket.

In short, we are right where God planned for us to be. And yes, I wrestle with that.

I wrestle with that because in my mind’s eye, a co-op doesn’t get cancelled for sickness unless, you know… the government says you have to. Even though our family is one of those that would be out (I was planning to attend solo as the director and a teacher), I still didn’t have shuttering for the week on my plate.

But God did. One by one, people came forward with their stories and it was obvious what God was saying. Then my husband opened his mouth, and it was final: “I really don’t want you to go tomorrow.”

So here we are, in this God-ordained moment. Each family in our fellowship has a specific purpose to fulfilll today, and I believe that this purpose is so great that God intervened on behalf of each and every one of us to put us on the path that was most needful. Serving a sick child. Sitting with a mourning friend. Attending a conference to glean wisdom. Honoring our husband’s request.

It can be so hard to open our hands and let go of what we saw. Be thou my vision, the hymn implores. And later— Heart of my own heart, whatever befall. That’s where I want to be today. Like David, so full of foibles and sin, but so desiring to follow the Lord and in doing so, being of God’s own heart.

In Christ,

Heather